this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
