Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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