If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Randomize
