Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
