So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
