stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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