This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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