Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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