I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize