His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
