Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
