i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
