She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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