Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
