i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize