i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize