i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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