That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
