I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
