my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
