Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
