Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
tell me about the fingering
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