no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
