Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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