I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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