I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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