I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
