Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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