if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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