Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
