And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
