at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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