Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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