Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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