I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
