I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I yelled at your uterus for you.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
