So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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