Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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