You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
