so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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