do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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