got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
