I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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