I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Holy sore nipples Batman
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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