So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
