i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
