one two three fourrrrnication!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
