My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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