There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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