# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
