Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize