just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
