Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
