Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
false alarm, still single
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
