I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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