Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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