Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
