he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
