hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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