Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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