if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My bed smells like the plague
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
