I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize