I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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