Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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