i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
