My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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