Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize