I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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