your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
