its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
