no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize