I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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