I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
