i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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