Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
