i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
