FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i drank out of a bidet.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
