I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
